Relating to The Bluest Eye

The girls of Toni Morrison's novel are admirable in many ways.

Reading Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, I couldn’t help but admire the young girls, Claudia, Frieda, and Pecola.  For the most part, I admire them for their strength and ability to withstand hardship.  Moreover, I admire their kindness and compassion.  When Pecola arrives, Claudia and Frieda welcome her.  Claudia remembers, “We had fun in those few days Pecola was with us.  Frieda and I stopped fighting each other and concentrated on our guest, trying hard to keep her from feeling outdoors” (Morrison 19).  In these ways, the girls seem older.  Claudia continues to prove her maturity later when describing her ideal Christmas.  Unlike most kids, Claudia says, “I did not want to have anything to own, or to possess any object.  I wanted rather to feel something on Christmas day” (Morrison 22).

Additionally, the girls’ obsession with physical appearance is interesting.  When Frieda and Pecola gush about Shirley Temple’s cute looks, Claudia confides her hatred for “all the Shirley Temples of the world” (Morrison 19).  For Claudia, the Shirley Temples of the world represent something she can never have.  She realizes, “Adults, older girls, shops, magazines, newspapers, window signs—all the world had agreed that a blue-eyed, yellow-haired, pink-skinned doll was what every girl child treasured” (20).  Knowing this, frustration overwhelms Claudia.  She cannot understand why people value this, “What made people look at them and say, ‘Awwwww,’ but not for me” (Morrison 22).  At a young age, the girls of Morrison’s novel experience lowered self-esteem, an overall sense of inadequacy.  So much so that Pecola blames her looks for her family’s problems and prays every night for blue eyes.

Claudia's hatred for Shirley Temple stems from her own sense of inadequacy, for she lacks the blond hair, blue eyes, and pale skin that every one seems to adore.

When I first read the beginning pages of Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, I must admit I was shocked.  I couldn’t grasp the harsh way in which the girls are treated—how the adults respond coldly to their physical ailments.  When Claudia catches cold, her mother cries, “You must be the biggest fool in this town” (Morrison 10).  She blames Claudia for something Claudia has no control over.  I was even more shocked by the annotation scribbled by a previous reader of my used book.  Alongside this passage, I read, “I remember the guilt.”  Whoever owned this book before me, whoever wrote those words, baffled me.  Could I relate to Claudia’s situation?  Could I relate to the girls’ pain and suffering?

My used book is full of highlights and notes written by a previous reader.

After reading Professor Bump’s “Family Systems Therapy and Narrative in Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye,” I have realized that I can relate to the girls’ troubles.  While my mother differs greatly from Claudia’s, “…it is important to remember that her [Claudia’s] ‘woundability’ is different in degree rather than in kind from that of many of her readers…In other words, many of Morrison’s readers of all ethnicities can identify to some extent with the family dance of The Bluest Eye” (Anthology 351).  For instance, after much thought, I found myself relating to the guilt that Claudia feels after getting sick.  As a child, whenever I would catch a cold, my mother would admonish me for not wearing my coat and would tell me to take better care of myself.  Though my mother was never harsh with me, my connection to Claudia proves that Toni Morrison’s family story is not far from any other family’s story.  After all, black families are no more dysfunctional than any other family and “it is difficult to generalize about ethnic groups” (Anthology 350).  Knowing this, I can read Toni Morrison’s novel more openly; I can read about and sympathize more with the characters of the story.

Connecting with Black Elk Speaks

Reading Black Elk Speaks this second time around, I tried harder to see connections between Black Elk’s experience and my own in this class. This time around, I also found myself understanding the story more and getting used to Black Elk’s voice. For the most part, our class relates to Black Elk’s story through our focus on leadership visions and totem animals. Moreover, Black Elk’s story corresponds to the themes of compassion and unity in this class, similar themes as well found in the movie, Avatar.

Black Elk's vision served the greater good of his people, his nation.

How does Black Elk Speaks relate to my leadership vision? For one, Black Elk’s vision primarily serves his people and the wellbeing of his community. At one point, Black Elk realizes, “I felt very happy, for I could see that my people were all happier…Everything seemed good and beautiful now, and kind” (xx). In the same way, I hope that my leadership vision contributes to the greater good of society. Moreover, Black Elk states two other important aspects of envisioning the future. He underscores the role understanding plays in his vision, saying, “It is from understanding that power comes” (xxix). Like Black Elk, understanding and open-mindedness are essential in my journey to becoming a leader. He also underscores the sense of purpose his vision gives him when he says, “Very few of them had seen the horse dance or knew anything about my vision and the power that it gave me” (xxi). Through P4 and creating my own leadership vision these past few weeks, I have strengthened my reasons for doing what I do and have found greater motivation to keep working toward my goals.

While Black Elk’s story relates to my leadership vision, his experiences also remind me of my totem animal quest. For instance, Black Elk meets various animals throughout his story; he sees eagles, chicken hawks, black swallows, and a cloud of beautiful butterflies as he laments. The animals give Black Elk courage and advice. In particular, Black Elk identifies with the eagle the most and honors the animal often by wearing its image on his body, whether through an eagle feather or sacred shirt. In the same way, we learned about totem animals last year and came to find our own. Like Black Elk, I discovered more about my personality and found guidance through my totem animals.

Last year, I learned the importance of totem animals at UT's Powwow.

Above all, I was surprised that I hadn’t noticed before the strong connections Black Elk’s story has with James Cameron’s movie, Avatar. For instance, Black Elk’s story emphasizes the importance of living in harmony with and having compassion for nature. When he describes the horses during the Grandfathers’ song, Black Elk says “they pranced as they stood in line. And all the while my bay was rearing too and prancing to the music of the sacred song” (xvii). In a way, Black Elk sees his horses as equals, as part of his community. Moreover, Black Elk values spirits and seeks guidance from them by praying. In Avatar, Jake Sully similarly seeks help from various spirits, including the mother goddess, Eywa, as well as the sacred Tree of Souls. Like James Cameron’s movie, Black Elk’s story also highlights the potential damage man can inflict upon nature. With the arrival of the Wasichus, Black Elk grieves over the loss of the bison. Just as the men in James Cameron’s movie are obsessed with profiting from the minerals under Hometree, the Wasichus “did not kill them [the bison] to eat; they killed them for the metal that makes them crazy, and they took only the hides to sell” (xxxi). Both stories emphasize the danger of forgetting “that the earth was their mother” (xxxi). After Black Elk witnesses the death of his tribe, he provides familiar imagery claiming, “There is no center any longer, and the sacred tree is dead” (xxxv). In the same way, the Na’vi’s sacred tree, Hometree, is obliterated and “dead” by the end of the movie.

Here is a clip from Avatar.  In the same way, the Na’vi treated their “horses” with compassion and respect.

From these connections, all that I have learned this past year, all of my beliefs and opinions, are further strengthened. There is truth to my leadership vision, my totem animals. There is truth to living in harmony with nature. Ultimately, I can learn from Black Elk’s story and take heed of his warning.

Relating to Black Elk Speaks

When I first began reading Black Elk Speaks, I was really confused.  The story is unlike any story that I have ever read; it doesn’t set you up and explain setting or characterization.  I was especially thrown off when Black Elk began speaking to a kingbird, when he envisioned men diving headfirst from the sky, and when these men suddenly turned to geese.  Black Elk Speaks, in a lot of ways, reminds me of magical realism.  At one point, I realized that I had to stop making sense of it all and accept the illogical, magical events of Black Elk’s story.  Once I learned this, I began to see that much of Black Elk’s experiences parallel with my own experiences in class.

Although it was confusing to read at first, I like that the story is told from the perspective of a true Native American.

For example, a lot of Black Elk’s descriptions reminded me of my own experience with my vision quest.  In finding my totem animal, I had to picture a lot of things realistic yet unrealistic.  When he encounters various nature settings and meets a variety of animals, he says, “I looked about me once again, and suddenly the dancing horses without number changed into animals of every kind and into all the fowls that are, and these fled back to the four quarters of the world from whence the horses came, and vanished” (iv).  Even when he meets with the Grandfathers, Black Elk watches as they turn into bison, geese, horses, elks, and eagles.  I found myself relating even more to Black Elk when he walked along with the horses.  In my vision quest, I too walked side-by-side with my totem animal.

Like Black Elk, I walked through a forest and saw a variety of animals.

More importantly, Black Elk’s overall message powerfully relates to the prominent focus of this class; Black Elk repeatedly conveys the importance of seeing unity in all things and feeling compassion toward all.  At the start, Black Elk states that his story is “the story of all life that is holy and is good to tell, and of us two-leggeds sharing in it with the four-leggeds and the wings of the air and all green things; for these are children of one mother and their father is one Spirit” (i).  When his people are troubled, Black Elk realizes that their strife stems from their disunity.  After their problems come to pass, Black Elk notices, “I understood more than I saw; for I was seeing in a sacred manner the shapes of all things in the spirit, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being” (x).  Later in the story, Black Elk describes the power of the circle, how all things are in the shape of a circle, and once again underscores the importance of unity.

Black Elk conveys the importance of the circle, of unity, explaining that the world works in circles; nests are made in circles, the sun and moon are circles, the seasons form a circle in changing, and the life of man is a circle.

Above all, Black Elk is compassionate toward all beings.  When he sees a little bird sitting in a bush, he aims to shoot.  Immediately, he says, “I felt queer again, and remembered that I was to be like a relative with the birds. So I did not shoot” (x).  While Black Elk does not want to harm other living things, he knows that his people must kill for survival, that killing is deeply rooted in their culture.  When out with his father, he confides, “While we were butchering and I was eating some liver, I felt sorry that we had killed these animals and thought that we ought to do something in return” (xi).  Black Elk proves to be admirable for his deep appreciation and awareness of nature.

I think that the greatest part about Black Elk’s story is that his story serves as a reminder of what has been lost.  Even at the start, one of the Grandfather’s foreshadows, “They have given you the cup of water to make live the greening day, and also the bow and arrow to destroy” (vii).  Ultimately, humans have the ability to promote both the wellbeing and destruction of the earth and are thus responsible for all of life.  Especially now, with the threat of global warming, I think that we are beginning to see this fact.  In this way, Black Elk’s story also serves as a warning.  When the Wasichus arrive, Black Elk describes the “world of darkness and of many changing shadows. Among those shadows men get lost…” (xxxiii).  If we don’t set ourselves free from this world of darkness and change for the better of our environment, we will never prove Black Elk wrong and perhaps “There is no center any longer, and the sacred tree is dead” (xxxv).

I hope that our generation can prove Black Elk wrong and revive the sacred tree that he claimed was dead.

LBJ’s Influence

The LBJ Library and Museum is beautiful and effectively conveys President Johnson's profound influence.

Going to the Lyndon Baines Johnson Library and Museum was a lot of fun!  I never even knew that it was so close to campus!  Walking up to the building and seeing the architecture and design of the property alone made me realize the importance of Lyndon Baines Johnson’s presidency.  He had a profound influence on America and changed the lives of many during his stay in the White House.  Although many people know him only for his failures in foreign policy, there are still many others who recognize and appreciate his domestic efforts.  While reading about his life and visiting the museum’s various exhibits, I began to understand the significance of compassion in leadership.

Johnson ingeniously introduces the helicopter as an effective campaign instrument.

Seeing and learning about Johnson’s gradual political climb, I realized the importance of turning stretch goals into short-term, manageable goals.  In a lot of ways, Lyndon Baines Johnson succeeded in his domestic efforts because he took everything step-by-step.  For instance, at the start of his career, Johnson knew how to manipulate events in his favor.  I thought it was interesting that in 1948 Johnson succeeded in his campaign because of the helicopter.  Using it as a campaign instrument, Johnson was able to visit communities all over and ultimately gain favor.  In legislation especially, Johnson is renowned for his skillful management.  His style of leadership is legendary, for he was able to advance legislation through “personal persuasion, intimate knowledge of fellow senators, mastery of detail, and impeccable timing” (LBJ Library and Museum Exhibit).  Johnson seemed to know that every small step made a huge difference.

Johnson is renowned for designing the Great Society.

In the end, Johnson’s small efforts really did turn into major differences.  Throughout his presidency, Johnson worked hard toward social reform.  He passed more than 200 bills and over a thousand laws.  More specifically, he is famous for launching the Thousand Laws of the Great Society, a set of programs focused primarily on eliminating poverty and racial injustice.  Going further than any other previous American leader before him, in 1964, Johnson signed the historic Civil Rights Act, which forbids discrimination in public places.  Several other acts were monumental in his efforts toward social reform.  For example, along with poverty and racial injustice, the Great Society helped Johnson change and improve upon education, employment, the arts and humanities, Medicare, and the environment.

Johnson's "nightly diet" proves his passion for the people and dedication to serving as president.

In addition to Johnson’s compassion for the people of America, I found myself admiring his passion and perseverance.  Having assumed presidency following the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, Johnson entered the White House in the midst of great tragedy.  Nevertheless, I believe that his circumstances never brought him down and that he made the best of his situation.  Visiting one exhibit, I read about his “nightly diet” and habit of “watch[ing] the news like a hawk” (LBJ Library and Museum Exhibit).  Johnson was passionate about his leadership and took his role seriously.  In a way, watching the news every night was Johnson’s way of connecting with the world and the American public.  He was able to keep up on current events firsthand and hear stories through the eyes of the people.

While President Johnson may have failed in dealing with the Vietnam War, I think that he should at least be remembered in the same way for his success in social reform.  He should be remembered for his passion and perseverance.  He should be remembered for the Great Society and above all his ability to maintain compassionate and understanding of the American people.  I know that I will remember him for it, and because of him, I can draw inspiration to be just as open and compassionate as well.

My Leadership Vision

What does it mean for me to be a leader?  What does my leadership vision entail?  Looking at the leaders of my life, I realize a variety of qualities of which I admire.  I admire those that are strong and decisive, ready to tackle any tough problem that comes their way.  I admire those that are charismatic and capable of guiding others.  I admire qualities such as open-mindedness and compassion in a leader.  Reading Stephen F. Covey’s novel, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, however, I have realized that leadership stands for more than a mere list of virtues.  According to Covey, leaders are invaluable for acting “not for [themselves] […] only, but for our posterity, for the posterity of all mankind” (Covey 316)[1] in general.  In this way, I hope to be open-minded and compassionate.  But, perhaps more importantly, I also seek to become the individual who inspires others and encourages change for the betterment of society.

There have been many leaders in my life. President Obama is one leader that I find inspiration in.

For a long time, my leadership vision focused mainly upon my dream to become a physician.  I remember first realizing my desire to become a doctor at a young age.  I was four years old when I was hospitalized with pneumonia.  Despite my fear, despite all of the tubes, needles, and beeping machines, I still somehow felt safe.  The doctors always made me feel comfortable, greeting me with smiles and jokes.  My experience with pneumonia instilled a trust and overall appreciation for doctors and medicine.  Countless doctors have helped me at other times in my life.  They provided comfort and hope when I had to get stitches, when I broke my foot, and when my mother needed surgery.  Because of these moments, I plan to go to medical school and thus provide the same sense of hope and security for others in need as well.

For a long time, I have wanted to help others through medicine.

Over the years, however, my leadership vision has changed and grown to include more than a focus on medical school.  I have realized that being a good doctor requires not only knowledge of the sciences but also knowledge of people and the world in general.  Last semester, Sarah Kliff’s article, “Well-rounded docs,” stated that having an education outside of the sciences may be beneficial, for “students who come in with […] [different] background[s] see patients more as a whole patient” (Course Anthology 173H)[2].  Many of the doctors of my life, especially those that treated me for pneumonia, possessed a greater awareness and understanding of life.  While they were able to treat and cure me of the infection that ruled my lungs, they were also able to treat and cure me of the fear and confusion that ruled my mind and heart.  They did not treat me merely as a case to be studied or another illness to be dealt with.  They saw me as a human being.  Their awareness and compassion were perhaps the most important in helping me overcome my illness, and for that, I will always be grateful.  Thus, my leadership vision involves gaining knowledge and experience in more than just the sciences.

With so many passions and interests outside of the sciences, I could not limit myself when it came to choosing exactly what I wanted to study.

Even before I realized that being a good doctor meant more than being skilled in the sciences I could not settle for one area of knowledge.  I remember applying to colleges senior year feeling overwhelmingly stressed out.  Questions like, “What would you bring to this institution?” or “Describe yourself in three words,” though seemingly simple, were terribly difficult to answer and complete.  When I had to declare my intended major, I felt as if I was cheating myself in simply checking off “Biology.”  I thought, “Sure, I love science.  I want to become a doctor, but is that all?”  I had so many other interests and passions outside of the sciences.  I wanted to continue learning Spanish and exploring Latin culture.  I wanted to continue examining works of art and discovering the effect of the art world on history and society.  I wanted to be able to read novels still and analyze important themes as well as their meaning.  As Ram Daas states, I did not want to be “in the habit of defining [myself] […] narrowly and defensively to begin with” (Course Anthology 266)[3].

In finding the University of Texas’s Plan II Program, I found a solution to all of my worries—I could obtain a liberal arts education and still pursue a pre-medical route.  As a student of the University of Texas, I benefit from learning within the campus’s renowned scientific community.  Enrolled in one of the nation’s largest universities, I have countless opportunities to research and join a variety of organizations.  In this way, I continue to explore new passions.  More importantly, being in Plan II specifically allows me to take classes outside of my interest in medicine.  All classes offered by the University of Texas and Plan II will help me attain my leadership vision; while completing pre-med requirements, my liberal arts education will help me become a well-rounded, freethinking individual as well as a physician sensitive to social and cultural issues.

Being in Plan II and having the opportunity to take such interesting classes this past year has been amazing.

Halfway through with this second semester of college, I can testify to the many benefits of a liberal arts education.  For instance, right now, I am taking a world literature class focused on ethics and feelings.  Before taking this class, I had never realized the lack of compassion and awareness that I held for all of life.  Taking this course and watching documentaries such as Earthlings have radically altered my lifestyle and view of the world.  Ultimately, I believe I have changed for the better.  In addition to my world literature class, I am taking a seminar class on illness and meaning.  In the same way, my seminar class has opened my eyes to the importance of compassion.  Reading pathographies has given me a new perspective, and I have gained a greater understanding of patients struggling to cope with sickness.  Perhaps more importantly, these courses have helped me improve my abilities as a reader and writer.  Knowing how to communicate effectively and share my thoughts and opinions with others is essential to my leadership vision.

I know that to achieve my leadership vision I will have to work hard during college.

While I have found the education that will help me achieve my leadership vision, I recognize that there is still much to be done.  For example, many of my classes are difficult and challenging.  Meeting pre-medical requirements will be my greatest obstacle, for I have learned that science classes in college differ greatly from those in high school.  Thus, I will have to change my study habits by studying my notes every night and reading from the textbook.  Ultimately, I will need to work harder to get good grades.  Taking Plan II classes will be equally demanding.  Reading and writing have always taken a lot of time for me, and this past year has taught me to better manage my time as a result.  Although these classes are challenging, I will persevere knowing that they are obstacles that will help me become the individual that I want to be, one who is educated not only in the sciences but in arts as well.

Additionally, I plan to take more advantage of the resources offered at the University of Texas.  For instance, I hope to become more involved in the campus’s medical community.  Although I am a member of the Plan II Pre-Med Society, I know that there is more that I can do.  Next semester, I plan to join and volunteer with other organizations similar to the Plan II Pre-Med Society.  Perhaps I can join the Foundation for International Medical Relief of Children.  In this way, I can work with other hospitals, nursing homes, and homeless shelters and meet other students interested in service and medicine.  Also, I hope to join the university’s Science Undergraduate Research Group, experience firsthand the process of scientific research, and once again meet others with a passion for science.

To become more open-minded, I know that I must experience more of the world and get to know cultures firsthand.

The University of Texas also offers one of the nation’s largest and most active study abroad programs.  Studying abroad, I believe, is essential in my goal to become a well-rounded and compassionate leader.  Living in an entirely different country, learning from a new culture firsthand, and speaking a new language can without a doubt help me discover not only more about my self but expand my worldview.  This past year, I have participated in PALS, Partnerships to Advance Language Study and Cultural Exchange, and I have enjoyed meeting people from places all over the world, including Germany, France, Spain, Australia, and England!  I cannot wait to learn even more when I study abroad during my fall semester of junior year.

Below is a video from Lafayette College, encouraging and outlining the benefits of study abroad programs.

While studying hard, joining more organizations, and studying abroad are all part of my action plan, I know that my leadership vision does not end there; I will continue improving my leadership skills throughout my life.  Once I graduate from college, I will continue working toward keeping an open-mind and strive to understand different views and perspectives.  I will travel and meet more people from different cultures.  More importantly, I will act out of compassion in almost everything that I do and sympathize with all of life.  Throughout my life, I hope to continue volunteering and giving back to my community.  In these ways, I can become the doctor that I want to be—compassionate, freethinking, and above all, a source of inspiration for others in acting for the betterment of society.

WORD COUNT WITHOUT QUOTATIONS: 1505

WORD COUNT WITH QUOTATIONS: 1556

Pictures:

http://luv2hateu.wordpress.com/

http://drelainageorge.wordpress.com/

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_XDCGWn-KmJg/Sa4vuo6b4pI/AAAAAAAAAGI/5lB2ZeG56KY/s400/treewcohort.jpg

http://www.marketworkz.com/13701.html?*session*id*key*=*session*id*val*

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[1] Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2004), 316.

[2] Sarah Kliff, “Well-rounded docs,” in Composition and Reading in World Literature, ed. Jerome Bump (Austin: Jenn’s Copy & Binding, 2009), 173H.

[3] Ram Dass and Paul Gorman, “How Can I Help?” in Composition and Reading in World Literature, ed. Jerome Bump (Austin: Jenn’s Copy & Binding, 2009), 266.

Alice and Diversity

In many ways, Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland illustrates the difficulty of accepting diversity.  Thrown into this topsy-turvy world, Alice meets a variety of interesting characters.  She is startled, at first, to find that these animals can speak.  Her narrow-mindedness and lack of knowledge concerning the Wonderland world, often gets her into trouble.  When she meets the Mouse, Alice insensitively mentions her cat Dinah, repeatedly telling the mouse how wonderful it would be for them to meet.  Alice offends the Mouse so much so that the Mouse eventually swims away from Alice.

This is what the Mouse must have pictured every time Alice mentioned Dinah...

Alice’s struggle to cope with the diversity of Wonderland continues in her meeting with the Caterpillar.  Never before has Alice been asked so directly the nature of her identity, who she was.  When the Caterpillar asks her to recite “You are old, Father William,” Alice realizes that she has got it all wrong.  Meeting the Caterpillar, Alice seems to realize that all that she had thought that she’d known before was in reality far from correct.  At one point, “Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in all her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper” (Carroll 52).  Encountering diversity can be hard not only because we are not used to it, but also because it forces us to challenge our preconceptions and view of the world in general.

Meeting others with different perspectives can be very confusing.

While they may be strange, Alice comes to learn much from the myriad of characters along her journey.  For instance, the Duchess surprises Alice, saying, “You don’t know much…and that’s a fact” (Carroll 61).  The Red Queen gives her somewhat silly, but wise advice, crying out, “turn out your toes as you walk—and remember who you are!” (Carroll 166).  Even hearing about the Carpenter and the Walrus from Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Alice learns to evaluate morals and ethics.

Meeting the brothers, Alice learns that she can't always be so easily influenced by others.

Just as much as the diversity of Wonderland teaches us to keep an open mind and learn from others, Alice’s encounters also remind us to be cautious in our acceptance of others’ beliefs.  For example, when Alice meets the brothers, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, she finds herself disagreeing with their suggestion that she is nothing but a figment of a dream.  She says to her self, “I know they’re talking nonsense…and it’s foolish to cry about it” (Carroll 189).  In learning others’ perspectives, it is important that we assess what we have learned and gain greater understanding and truth from it.  That does not necessarily mean that we have to accept it all, and Alice follows the Red Queen’s advice in this way, keeping her head and remembering who she is!

Going to the Mad Tea-Party play last weekend definitely helped me sympathize more with Alice and experience for myself the strange things that happened.  Her ability to withstand such oddities is certainly admirable.  She meets the March Hare, the Hatter, and the Dormouse.  She deals with their strange tea party, view of Time, and habit of asking riddles with no answers.  She goes on to meet the Goat, Beetle, and Gnat, noticing  “it was a very queer carriage-full of passengers altogether” (Carroll 171).  Nevertheless, her strange experiences seem to strengthen and improve her character.  Alice becomes more sensitive to the characters around her.  She doesn’t understand the Dormouse’s odd story, yet “Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: ‘But I don’t understand.  Where did they draw the treacle from?’” (Carroll 76).  When Tweedledum and Tweedledee fight over their rattle, “Alice laughed loud: but she managed to turn it into a cough for fear of hurting his feelings” (Carroll 192).

In this way, Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland relates in so many ways to our college experience.  Just like Alice, we’re thrown into this strange, new world.  All of our previous ideas and habits do not apply in this entirely different world called college.  More importantly, we must learn to deal with the good and bad of diversity.  Like Alice, we can gain greater awareness and knowledge by listening to others and hearing their perspectives.  By keeping an open mind, we can learn more about our selves as well as the world in general.  Diversity can also force us to challenge our beliefs and learn to protect our ideas when necessary.   And, finally, Alice teaches us that sensitivity, compassion, the awareness for others, no matter how different they are from us, are the most important when it comes to growing and maturing.

Learning from Siddhartha

In class, we do a lot of our own experiential learning!

In many ways, Siddhartha represents the themes and goals of this course.  Similar to our college experience, Siddhartha seeks to find answers.  He tries his hand at almost everything in order to gain further knowledge and truth of the world; he leaves his father and a life as a Brahmin, practices asceticism with the Samanas, and later indulges in the material world as a merchant.  Throughout his search, Siddhartha also discovers his innermost self, the importance of compassion, and the unity of all things, again representing similar aims of this course and in general the college experience.

At the start of the novel, Siddhartha’s father remarks, “he saw growing within him [Siddhartha] a great sage and priest, a prince among the Brahmins.”  (Hesse 6).  Unlike most kids in his town, Siddhartha is known for his remarkable thirst for knowledge.  He sets out leaving his home to gain a greater understanding of the world, the purpose of life.  In a way, at the start of each journey, Siddhartha creates his own leadership vision, stating what kind of person he wants to be and what he wants to accomplish.  He goes to the Samanas to give up all worldly pleasures.  He goes to the city to immerse himself in the material world.  He goes to the river to live as peacefully as the ferryman.  Every vision and journey is different.  Siddhartha seems to know that “it [envisioning his future] is only practice, in the sense that you can change it all tomorrow” (P4 Instructions).

Gotama serves as Siddhartha's hero and inspires him to change.

In addition to understanding the importance of a changing future, Siddhartha also sees the importance of finding the self.  Halfway through the novel, Siddhartha is able to answer even questions such as, “Who inspires you?  How would you become a leader like your hero” (P4 Instructions)? upon meeting Gotama.  Because of Gotama, Siddhartha discovers the traits that he admires and hopes to acquire.  Nevertheless, Siddhartha realizes that the Buddha cannot help him much further, crying out, “You will not be able to convey and share with anyone, oh venerable one, in words and through teachings what has happened to you in the hour of enlightenment” (Hesse 35)!  Just like us, Siddhartha learns “to think for [his] […] self, decreasing reliance on secondary sources, practicing what is known as active, experiential or discovery learning” (Course Goals).  Siddhartha knows that finding the self requires going out into the world.  Rather than hear the truth of the world from others, Siddhartha seeks to find it all on his own.

More importantly, by the end of the novel, Siddhartha discovers the importance of compassion and unity.  While living in the city, Siddhartha looks upon the urbanites with contempt, “a certain amount of ridicule” (Hesse 73).  Only after leaving the city, Siddhartha learns to overcome these feelings of superiority.  He begins to “look upon [the world] and myself and upon all beings with love, admiration, and great respect” (Hesse 137).  In essence, Siddhartha achieves one of the most important goals of this course and replaces “fear and greed with love, compassion, tolerance, and the sympathetic imagination” (Course Goals).  The river helps him achieve all of this as well as a greater sense of the unity of the world.  Siddhartha sees that there is “unity, of the self, of the self and others, of the self and nature, of one subject and another, etc.” (Course Goals).  With the “awareness and conscious thought of the unity of all life,” Siddhartha is finally able to live in peace and attains true enlightenment (Hesse 121).  I can only hope that with Siddhartha’s example in mind, along with all that I have learned in this course, I will one day achieve enlightenment and peace within my Self as well.

Compassion, love, unity are the ultimate goals of this class and play a crucial role in Siddhartha's enlightenment.

Siddhartha’s New Life

Often, I was confused by Siddhartha's decisions.

The last half of Siddhartha definitely helped increase my understanding of and appreciation for the novel.  I began to see why some of the events of the novel happened, why Siddhartha did what he did.  For instance, I always thought that Siddhartha’s decision to leave the Samanas, to take up a life ruled by the material world, was odd.  To go from living without any personal possessions to living solely for personal possessions was a bit extreme.  I couldn’t understand how someone could so quickly change his or her mind and opt for a completely opposite way of life.

Siddhartha falls into a deep sleep along a riverbank.

Siddhartha himself sees the inconsistency of his beliefs, “was full of disgust, full of suffering, full of death, until nothing in the world allured him, gave him joy, or comforted him” (82).  In his despair, Siddhartha collapses near a riverbank and falls into a deep sleep.  When he is awakened by the sound of the holy “Om,” he comes to his senses and realizes that he can once again start his life anew.  He exclaims, “Oh how good it is to have fled and to have become free!  How clean and beautiful is the air here; how good it is to breathe it” (92).

In addition to realizing this new opportunity, Siddhartha realizes the importance of his mistakes, his former life in the city.  He doesn’t regret a thing, and praises himself, saying “for after so many years of foolishness, you have once again had a concept, you have done something, you have heard the bird in your breast singing and have followed it” (92)!  If Siddhartha had not acted on his decisions, if he had not lived with the Samanas or merchants, he never would have been able to make his own judgments on life.  Siddhartha acknowledges the power of experience and exclaims “now I know this [that the material world is not the best of the world], not just in my mind, but in my eyes, my heart, and my stomach” (93).

When Siddhartha's son arrives, for the first time, Siddhartha comes to value what it means to love.

As I read about Siddhartha embarking on a new life, I began to appreciate and understand his character more and more.  Before, I couldn’t really relate to him.  This last half of the novel has, in a way, made Siddhartha more relatable, more human.  For one thing, Siddhartha becomes less arrogant.  Listening to the river has helped Siddhartha in so many ways; he keeps “a quiet heart, with patience, and with an open soul devoid of passion, wishes, judgment, and opinions” (100).  Moreover, because of his son, Siddhartha understands love as “the most important thing of all” (137).  He also realizes that he has judged others unfairly, that “Their vanities, desires for possessions, and ridiculous traits were no longer laughable to him.  They became comprehendible, lovable, and even worthy of veneration to him” (121).  I think that in these last chapters Siddhartha becomes more admirable for his new and wise views of the world.

I’m not sure if Siddhartha’s journey directly compares to mine.  Maybe in some ways, it does.  For instance, I’d like to think that, like Siddhartha, I have learned to take life as it is, “to love it, and to enjoy being a part of it” (134).  I would also like to think that I experience the world on my own, for “wisdom cannot be passed on” by words or by teachers (132) and that I have worn “many robes” in order to gain my truths (131).  Taking this class for sure has taught me also to be aware and conscious of “the unity of all life” (121).  I continue to seek to see all things, all beings of the world, with love and appreciation.

Understanding Siddhartha

At first, I was a little confused about Siddhartha’s journey.  I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, where he was heading.  He begins as a respected son of a Brahmin, renowned for his piety.  Then, he suddenly renounces all of the pleasures of the world and joins the Samanas.  By joining the Samanas, Siddhartha leaves behind all that his father has taught him.  Nevertheless, Siddhartha changes his mind once again after a few years of living through asceticism and chooses the material world over the spiritual and meditative.  It seems like Siddhartha doesn’t hold on to any one belief for long.  He continually flips from one faith to another.  His indecision, I think, is the whole point of the story.  We should learn from Siddhartha, who is “so apt to learn and so thirsty after knowledge” (6).  At every stage of his journey, Siddhartha gains greater understanding of the world, finds truth, and gradually sets himself free.

Siddhartha's passion for knowledge will without a doubt set him free.

I think that many of my beliefs coincide with those of Siddhartha.  For instance, in the beginning of the story, Siddhartha questions, “And where could Atman be found, where did he live, where did his eternal heart beat—where else other than in the self, in one’s inner being, in the indestructible part of each person that they carried within themselves” (8)?  The most basic, fundamental step in anyone’s spiritual journey should be just that—understanding and finding one’s self.  If you don’t understand your self, how can you understand others, the world in general?  In the beginning of the year, we established this; we have taken personality quizzes, read Stephen R. Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, learned about Ram Daas’ Witness, and meditated each day.  I believe, as Siddhartha, that “The ancient spring must be found in one’s own self; [and] one must own it” (9)!

In class, we meditate to clear our minds and reach greater awareness.

Like Siddhartha, I also strive to find an inner peace within myself.  I equally admire the tranquility of the holy man, Gotama, how “his face and his gait, his gaze lowered quietly, his motionless hands hanging down, and even every finger of his dangling hands bespoke peace, expressed perfection—they did not search, or imitate—as they breathed softly with a calm that did not wither, with a light that did not fade, and with a peace that was intangible” (29).  Although these descriptions and concepts, may seem ideal, I will always aim to achieve them.

I particularly liked Siddhartha’s observation of the Buddha’s teachings, his belief in “the unity of the world, the interconnectedness of all that transpires, the fact that the great and the small things are all encompassed by the same forces of time and law of causation, of coming into being and of dying” (34).  I have talked a lot about this “unity” in previous DB’s, and I think that Siddhartha’s renewed appreciation of nature exemplifies this “unity.”  He walks and journeys through the wilderness, seeing that “All of these thousands of colorful things had always been there; the sun and the moon had always shone, rivers had always roared and bees had always buzzed, but in former times all of this had been nothing more to Siddhartha than a fleeting, deceptive veil before his eyes” (45).  Now, Siddhartha sees nature in a whole new way.  Like Siddhartha, this past year, I have begun to see nature differently as well.  Before, “[it] always existed, and […] [I] had not seen it…Now [like Siddhartha I] […] was with it […] was part of it” (46).

Journeying through mountains and beaches, Siddhartha begins to see nature in a whole new light.

Pictures:

http://www.helpinganimals.com/photos/240-FreeBird.jpg

http://maryjaneryan.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/meditation2-saidaonline.jpg

http://blogs.targetx.com/pbu/Trevor/Nature_Mountains.jpg